I want to swear...

I find it really easy to swear and have a list of choice words up my sleeve, which I can use on a regular basis depending on who I am speaking with.  I find it hard to swear on paper though! BH swears like a trucker and often does it front of the kids which sends them into either a paroxysm of giggling, or into lectures of anti-swearing.  Now, I'm the first one to be disgusted when I hear a small child using foul language and often blame the parents...but I live in a glass house so I shouldn't be throwing stones should I?  

I don't always notice when I'm swearing and I know BH doesn't either, but being reminded by your small children that you swear like a trooper is a little bit of a shocker.  A lot of the time I do it for effect and humour, but sometimes I forget where I am.  

This morning I caught Finn telling Miriam that she was a "biatch" because she was making him put his toys away.  When Miriam protested and told him he was a "scumbag", he ran crying to me saying that Miriam was nasty to him. He defended himself by saying that "You said, that you didn't want a bitch as there were too many in the house!"  
I told him that I wasn't talking about human beings, but was indicating the canine species.

"But I know you meant girls, because we don't have any girls dogs". 

"I shouldn't have said it" I countered "It was meant as a joke!"

"You shouldn't say bad words," he repled  "even in jokes. And anyway, I copy you...it's not fair that you're making me swear...anyway she said a bad word to me!"

 He's right you know.  I can't perceive someone elses tolerance of bad language even if made in jest. 

"OK, if I promise not to do it anymore, then you must promise not to do it either.  It's not nice, and it's not clever.  We have to learn to be more intelligent about our repsonses made in anger or as a joke.  Now go and say sorry to Miriam.". 

Later, when Miriam was painting her nails at the kitchen table, (whilst I ran around getting her coffee, and scratching her nose because she didn't want to smudge her nails) I asked her not to call Finn a scumbag, even if he sometimes behaved like one.  "Try and choose another word. A nicer word, a softer word, a word that describes him."

"But Mrs M," she said nonchalantly, blowing on her nails "I sink zat Finn, should get himself a sense of humour...it is not good zat he cannot laff at himzelf!"  

So, Miriam has an excellent sense of humour but my child is offended because someone said a bad word, eventhough he said one himself.

Oh dear, I think I'm going to have to toughen up my son!


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