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Showing posts from 2011

Thank the lord...

Breath in....breath out...breath in....heave a sigh of relief.  Christmas is over and I actually got through it without crying, throwing a tantrum or throwing the kids out!   I wish I could say it was peaceful and magical...but it wasn't.  It was one continuous food fest from Christmas Eve until just 10 minutes ago, when I stuffed the last mince pie down BH's throat, even though he was protesting he couldn't eat another thing.  The thought that I might wake in the night and creep down and eat it was all that was playing on my mind. No more bleedin' mince pies! Yee haww! The house is a bit empty now that Sis and her family (with BB and Girlfriend), Ma and Pa, Bro and partner have all departed to their various homesteads, but I'm glad they've gone. I've loved having them, but I love having my home back. The kids have been excellent.  They behaved better than the adults.   Sis's husband got seriously annoyed with us as we refused to play to the rules of s

Goodwill and peace to all men.

Christmas is almost upon us and it's usually around this time I begin to remember those who are no longer in my life.  The special ones who are no longer with us, and the ones that made a quick departure. 2010 began pretty badly and marked the start of my blog, mainly I guess, as a way to take my mind off the things that were truly haunting me. I've been through some very sad  times in the past but had always believed that I was "blessed" or lucky. I had a loving and generous family, I had health, and I had my wonderful life but this was...bammmm and I was at the centre of it all. They say bad luck comes in threes and you've guessed it... so did mine 1. I fell out with my nephew 2. I almost lost my job 3. I lost a very close friend They came almost suddenly, one upon the other. Although almost losing my job came close to causing me to lose my sanity,  falling out with my nephew was and is the one thing I regret and the one thing I mourn. I have absolutely

Christmas is coming and I haven't done a thing!

Christmas is fast approaching and I haven't done a thing!!  It always creeps up on me like this and I have a feeling that I'll be running around on the 24th buying all sorts of expensive crap, because I've been too lazy to put my thinking cap on!! I've just spent the past two hours on line (which reminds me...must check whether warhammer do online purchases otherwise it's a two hour queue to get into the car park!) trying to glean some kind of idea of what to get who.  It would be far easier if we we didn't have to waste all of our hard earned cash on a single day.  It takes up the whole month...for what?  For a day of overindulgence on all levels.  BB's girlfriend (lovely though she is) has just come up with a plan to make something for each other...which is a lovely idea...but I just don't have the effing time!!!  I've got mince pies to make; I've got the tree to decorate (I can't let anyone else do it as I'm a control freak!); I'

Time to get my arse into gear!

A loss is always sad, and I think I've taken a bashing this time. When something hits you hard, nothing else is important. In this case my little bit of me (here, of course), has suffered neglect. I didn't feel like making witty..in fact I wondered whether I ever did.  How did I become so serious?  But I'm back...I've seen the light! My month away was productive though.  I haven't just been sitting around twiddling my fingers! We've been very busy. We've been clearing up the garden and painting the house.  Not only has it taken us months, but it's made me realise that all this cleaning and painting is such a waste of time.  I really must get myself together and make Miriam do something for her keep.  Peewee has had his doodahs cut off which has now made me wonder whether I should have done so as he would have had beautiful babies. Pee Wee in his buster collar...seriously comfortable! For the first time this year, I decided that I should vi

A tribute to someone I don't know

Last night I heard that someone had passed away. It was someone I didn't know, but it was someone I knew well. I'd meet up with her most nights. We'd shoot the breeze, she'd make me laugh. We thought we had all the time in the world. She'd fight with me to get the first round in. We'd never had that first round. I promised I'd buy us lunch. We thought it would be inevitable that we'd meet.  I'd laughed and said that she would probably hate me on sight. She said she probably would. We'd argue and spar, but we'd always leave each other on a witty note. I never took offence. She never took offence. We found the ridiculous funny, and we'd find compassion in tragedy. Her insults were a joy. My insults couldn't match hers. Her kindness and sensitivity when help was needed. She knew when to draw the line in the sand. She was unafraid and brave. She was a friend because she understood, never judged and was always there. She reached out

My Crazy Au-pairs.

Miriam, is slovenly and messy.  Her room is a pigsty, and she leaves a trail of cups and plates around the house.  No matter how many times I ask her to put them in the dishwasher she seems to think that they all disappear because the fairies spirit them away...well...I'm that fairy! I put up with it as I like her.  I've had au pairs since the boys were about 5.  I thought that would be a good age as they could tell me if the au pair was mean to them, locked them in cupboards or burnt them with fag ends. In the early days we had one called Ildi.  Ildi was older than the average au-pair (she was 28), and I found her on the the net.  She looked presentable and spoke very good English...and she had eyes that reminded me of my ma's dog.  Probably not a good reason to pick an au pair, but Oliver (the dog) was kind and sweet  so I thought perhaps she would be too. She worked for a family nearby and was leaving for "reason unknown".  I'd never thought to question t

Murder in the garden.

I'd never had Chubba down as a killer..he's too soft and floppy for one, but this morning the Finn and Bart came running in from the garden screaming. "Muummmmm"  Well, that's the usual cry, but this was wasn't the cry of "Mum, I've hurt myself" or "Mum, he's being nasty to me" or "I'm telling Mum" or "Mum, I'm just crying for the sake of it", this was a blood curdling scream of "Mum...I've seen something really bad and I don't want this stuck in my memory forever and tonight I'm going to have nightmares" type of scream.  The one where you know that whilst you want to run away yourself, as you're Mum, you have to deal with it.... head on. "What?" What?" What?" I shouted - I tend to shout when I'm freaking. They weren't actually saying anything as the rushed into the kitchen but grabbing at my clothes, and burying their heads in my legs. Miriam wa

Silent Sunday - 9 Oct 2011

And I thought I was "Just perfect"!!!

Just an observation really.  Since starting this blog, I've come to learn a lot about myself and my family. I'm often reflective and observing, but I've actually started to notice my bad points of which I thought there were none, pre blogging. I've always asked BH what he didn't like about me and he could come up with nothing...well nothing that is of value.  Where as I'd thought I was always perfect (oh yes I am!), I'm clearly lacking in some a lot of areas.  I'm now beginning to realise that he is less than truthful if only for an easy life...and as I've blundered through life I really should thank him. BH always points out my good points (you have lovely ears, you are a nice person, you are kind), and while that's lovely of him, it's not been terrifically helpful.  Recently, the kids have been telling me things about myself.  Kids are honest, kids are truthful, kids are cruel kids are mean....husbands are not! I suppose that's why I

Moving forward

After a tense couple of weeks (which I'll be honest-had me weeping buckets), we've come to an impasse with the Finn saga.  That's not to say it's an uncomfortable deadlock, and I have hopes that the bullying will come to a complete end and it won't affect Finn or his future in the way it has.  I think and hope it was something that happened last year, but now I'm aware, I can build my son up to be able to tackle it head on and give him back the confidence he's lost. Funnily enough, no one appears to have seen or heard any thing that may have contributed to the incidents, but I guess that's the way with insidious bullying...and because Finn put on a brave face and didn't complain no one really noticed. His new teacher is understanding (and she is fresh out of uni!) and is "up" on the ways to tackle incidents; pinpointing and recognising issues and dealing with issues without laying blame. I'm hoping subtlety will work so in the meantim

What about Bullying?

Now they're all back at school I was hoping life would be peaceful and uncomplicated. Each evening, when the kids come home from school we go through the usual. "What did you have for lunch?" "Something black" "What did you do in class?" "Something about war/drawing/got sent out." "What do you have for homework?" "Nothing." However, today it was a little bit different. I have no idea how we got onto the conversation but I think I asked Finn who he played with at break time. "No one",  he said "I just read my comic"  He wasn't moaning just stating a fact. "...then Tom, Robert and David came over and pulled the comic out of my hands and ripped it up." "Ooookaaay", I said carefully, "What did you do?" "Nothing." My son sat there and let some other boys take his comic and rip it up and did nothing. "Why didn't you tell a teacher? Why w

Sunday 11th Sept 2011

I am the Queen of Inappropriate Comments

.....and I wish I could keep my gob shut! My nephew (BB) is currently staying with us, while sis has moved (albeit temporarily) to foreign climes. I have been charged with his development and keeping a check (as mummies do) on his eating habits. BB is 22, and an absolute delight. He has become a role model for our 2 young thugs and a big brother to Mimi.  He is sensitive, polite, respectful, funny and kind and has become my favourite house guest...ever! If my two turn out anything remotely like him I will be absolutely delighted. It is hugely unlikely though, as their mother is continues to tread the boards between inappropriate and unacceptable behaviour most times, while BB's mother appears to have done it all correct as laid down in the "Mummies Handbook" which appears I have never read...or even heard of. I have come to this sudden realisation while sitting down with BB one evening. I am the master of quick quips and he often asks for my response for a witty come

How to prepare them for university....

My friend Marion has three boys.  Marion is organised, practical and runs her own business so she needs to be. Nick, her eldest son is 18, and off to uni this year.  She won't allow him to take a "gap year" this year, knowing that his fees will treble if he went gallivanting. It only seems like yesterday when he was in his short trousers holding the hand of his younger brother on his first day at school and telling him not to cry because he would be there for him. The thing I admire about Marion is her ability to look to the future and be prepared, although she wasn't as foresighted when it came to her husbands infidelity . The thing with Marion is that she is tenacious. She sticks with it....and she stuck with him.  I have to admire her.  I personally, would have kicked him into touch...or kicked him out.  When I asked her why she allowed him to treat her so appallingly she replied "But I love him!"...I really can't argue with that, now can I?  Love i

Why have they changed the school uniform?

Like many, it's time for the kids to go back to school.  Like many, for some very obscure reason, the uniform has changed.  The kids, it seems are happy...they just like buying new things...but FFS I have three of the little darlings!  And I have to start all over again.  No more "hand-me-downs". I can't off load the stuff to friends; I can't give it to the school for re-cycling and it's all still in such good nick! The socks alone cost me £9 a pair (yes, it's a little excessive but they are at a private school and I get a BOGOF!). Finn will be leaving next year to go to "Big School" too, so his hand me downs won't go onto Mimi (and I really can't see her in his shorts!) so it looks like they're going to be relegated to the bin! Bart is starting at "Big School" so he now has a completely new wardrobe. Jude (school gate mum), tells me that the smart new image is to encourage potential parents to send their offspring to t

Silent Sunday

Rewind Festival, 80's Music and camping

I've just achieved a couple of firsts...both of which I'd thought I'd probably never do, one of which I haven't done since I was a girl guide and attempted to lash together bits of wood to fashion a wash bowl holder and a rack to hold our sleeping bags and ruck sacks.  It was disastrous especially as my attempts always collapsed and I swore I would never go camping again...but things have changed!  We've just been camping! And we've just been to our first festival ( Rewind )....and we had an excellently, fantabulous, brilliant time. Camping (or glamping) has changed since I was a kid.  For years I've sneered at campers as... well....a bit odd!  Both BH and myself like our creature comforts and if I can't use my GHD's then I'm absolutely miserable. For the past couple of years, friends of ours ("Ohhhh, Dave" and "Pikey Donna") have tried to persuade us to go to Rewind Festival with them.  I've always found  excuses like &

I wish I hadn't said yes when I really meant no!

I really do!  I get myself into all awkward situations and end up resenting the time I have to spend on others.  I really don't have that much time, except to waste away on Twitter, FB, online Scrabble, not to forget bejewelled blitz or farm ville....all such a waste of time. I wish I could say no with a light heart, but then I start to feel guilty and end up saying yes.  Yesterday someone asked me to do something, and I had to think of loads of excuses and now worry that I've offended them.  What they wanted me to do is something I really shouldn't do...so I didn't and now I'm paying the price with guilt and self flagellation. I tell the kids that they have the right to say no and that in no way should they be pressurised into doing something they feel uncomfortable about..unless, of course it's me doing the asking! Most of the time, I do say yes... "Will you provide the tea for 30 visiting parents on Open day?" "Yes, of course.  It will be a

Silent Sunday

Live a little.....

Ma and Pa are funny folk.  Not funny weird, but funny, funny, if you know what I mean! They have spent their lives getting into situations no normal, sane or sensible person would even attempt.  They take risks, some of them sound and calculated, but some are just plain funny. Most people would quake with fear, suffer from PTS after the event and probably never leave the house at the thought of finding themselves in the same situations....but Ma and Pa laugh in the face of it all! Ma and Pa live abroad some of the year.  They're retired now, so are trying to enjoy each others company...24 hours a day!  Seeing as though I could never live with them longer than a week (they so exhaust me!), I think they're doing pretty well. Last night I had a call from Ma and she recounted this little story that made me laugh out loud and giggle every time I think of it, but it's so typical of them I have no idea why I'm surprised. They'd gone into the next town for their weekl

Life changes.....

Change I may have an opportunity to start anew.  Well, in reality it's always been there but I've lacked the gumption to do anything about it. Not that I'm a coward, but it's been safe in my little world and stepping outside of it has often left me thinking "Naahh, it's easier to just stick with what I have".  But things could be changing and I feel a positive vibe in the air.  Changes are afoot, and when something rocks your world you look at things in a different way.  Nothing is forever, and the only certainty in life is taxes and death. Looking at the kids, I know that they deserve more than I'm giving them now.  I've been away for most of their little lives, relying on the support of my (sometimes) fabulous aupairs, family and friends. I've missed birthdays, sports days, plays, parents evenings....and no-one blames me for it, except myself! I burnt Mimi on the arm the other day, whilst we were baking cookies (out of a packet...shame

Striking Teachers.....why I support their action.

I'm a bit bored of the fluffy posts I normally write...not that anyone ever finds them riveting reads! Tomorrow, thousands of teachers from the UK will withdraw their labour. The streets will be awash with mums and their kids. The parks will be packed to the gunnel's, and the whole of society will crumble for one day. It doesn't matter that the weather is blissful, or that life is sweet...someone, somewhere will moan. For many this will make uncomfortable reading and I don't apologise for my thoughts. The NUT state: Teachers will loose on average £250,000 over the length of their retirement Teachers will be expected to work until they are 68 Teachers will be expected to contribute at least a further £100 each month to cover shortfalls The impact of this on our childrens future is in the hands of the people we have elected into power.  Summer of discontent? I don't think so, I think it will be a decade of discontent.  Money is in short for many except the ub

...and I actually wore a dress!

God, wasn't yesterday hot?  The most skin I was prepared to bare was an sliver of an ankle. I find the fashion of longskirts and maxi dresses very useful for disguising lumps and bumps, especially the empire lines which fall straight from the bust.  However, mine was topped off with a cardi to disguise the fat.  Bart was surprised when he saw me.  The combats and the T-shirts replaced with a lovely flowing (black) boob tube dress....could I really go through the day without  my uniform and still get "down and dirty"? "Mummy, you look nice" he said  "Are you wearing makeup? You normally look like a boy". BH countered it with  "Woah, where are YOU going, hot lady! " I must say, I felt nice.  It felt good to wear a dress and feel feminine for once. It wasn't restrictive and I could move quickly even if the flip flops kept flipping off in my haste to get somewhere fast. I was able mow the lawn, do the washing, and walk the dogs.  I co

My baby girl...

Now Mimi is a beautiful child. She's the kind of child that people come up to in the street and exclaim "Oh my goodness, isn't she pretty!" It's not a question but a statement of fact. When she was a baby, she wasn't so pretty...in fact she was a bit ugly, looking back. But as my ma-in-law would say, she's grown into her face. To look at her one would think that butter wouldn't melt in her mouth. Her curly hair and her chocolate brown eyes melt many hearts and she's going to be absolutely stunning. Mimi can do no wrong. She's also a "mean table layer!" She does it properly; making sure the knives and forks are placed correctly.  Unlike her brothers she clears the table of the debris before laying.....and puts it away.  Her bothers just slide stuff to one side or lay the places on top of the piles of papers.  But she's more than just her face.  She has a personality. She's feisty. She's funny, and she has a great turn of ph

I puff up with joy!

It's nice to know that there are some things that will make me happy no matter what.  Some things can change from week to week, but there are somethings that make me sigh with utter contentment. The static things that will always be there gives me  the greatest sense of peace. I puff up with pure joy when I visualise them in my minds eye. I guess these are the same for most people. Beach at West Wittering For me they are: My familyThe sea A blue sky A great book. On any given day there might be any number of things that brings me joy. Today my reasons to be joyful, thankful or just plain grateful are: Any coffee chain where I can go and drink my coffee in peace and read the papers without a child asking me questions. Guilt free me time!  I jump on the Internet and check my mail...for free!  I used to be a Starbucks freak, but have since decided that their ethical stance is not as ethical as I once thought..plus their coffee in the UK has gone right down the pan!! U

Silent Sunday

My new regime...Charles Poliquin and BioSignature

You may have noticed (or not) that I have a sidebar on my page which indicates weight that I will/have lost in preparation for the next few weeks. I have been preparing myself for the inevitability that my clothes no longer fit and that it's cheaper to lose the weight than it is to buy new clothes. We've had BB (nephew) staying with us for some time and he has been extolling the virtues of eating properly, organically and with lots of protein.  As an ex vegetarian, my diet is pretty awful.  Hangups from a bygone era still play a major part in my choice of food, but after listening to BB for the past few months and watching him pop his supplements with regularity I became interested.  He was healthy (OK...so he's young) fit (he's young) and has so much energy (he's young) that I wondered whether I was ever like that.  BB showed me some stuff from the legendary Charles Poliquin, and to be honest, I have taken it all on board.  BB didn't want to train or coach