I've lost my mojo.

My mojo has gone and done a runner!  Actually it's my cleaning mojo that has gone. It could be that after a week of  everyone being at home, with the both the kids and the dogs doing mud sprints through the house from the garden that I've given up any pretence of appearing a little bit house proud.  There is a pile of washing to be ironed and a pile of washing to be washed and I really can't be bothered.  I mean, what is the point?  I'm only going to have to do it all again! BH has noticed, and  has commented. I was planning on visiting an old school pal on the Friday.

"But it's "Cleaning Day" on Friday!"

"Whaddyamean...Cleaning day?"  This phrase has never been mentioned and the very thought of it actually makes me feel a little bit sick.

"Well..." he said, his eyes darting wildly (avoiding mine!) and I could see he was having trouble weighing up how to say what he was going to say.

"You always clean up on a Friday!" he mumbled.

"Oh do I? Well let me tell you this sonny jim...there ain't no "Cleaning Day".  Every day's a cleaning day.  If you want a cleaning day, I suggest you get yourself a "Cleaning Lady"!".

He was clearly upset at the notion of me leaving the house on a "Cleaning Day"!

So on Friday, off I went to visit my friend and when I returned the house looked like a tornado had hit - and the kids weren't even there! I thought we'd been burgled There was muddy footprints all over the floor, burnt pans in the sink and exotic underwear draped over the radiators.

Miriam (the au-pair) was feeling poorly but decided to empty the dishwasher (a first!), she didn't know where anything went so the surfaces were laden with cups, plates (a tin can?), and cutlery so she left them amongst the dirty ones. She said she didn't re stack the dishwasher because,

"You always change it around anyway! No point!"

She then decided to vacuum (she is very thoughtful like that), but vacuumed around the piles of toys that she'd been sorting out, then left the hoover in the middle of the room so that I could see that she'd done it! The bin was overflowing with debris on the floor, with a pizza box in shreds.

"Those bloody dogs wouldn't let me near ze bin" (oh yeah?).

The washing over the radiators were her "smalls".  She hadn't used the dryer because she didn't want them to shrink.  How much smaller they could get, I don't know! I didn't even know she possessed such items, there was such an array.  I had to guide Bart and Finn away as they were becoming curious and I didn't want to  explain why mummy only has white ones!

In her defence I must say it was quite a thoughtful  gesture, although it didn't come off quite as she'd planned. I spent most of Friday evening and Saturday clearing up the mess and now I've decided it's all a waste of time. How many hours do we spend cleaning up?

My brother used to say,

"Dirt reaches a certain level then, so I may as well just leave it!"

I'm inclined to agree with him. I'm not sure I want my mojo back.


  1. Sigh ... this is music to my ears! That there is another human being out there that shares my experiences is quite simply .. a relief! Oh, and you are hilarious!

  2. Why...thank you! (For some reason I wanted to say this in an american accent!) I love ironing though..I take all my frustration out on those pesky clothes...very therapeutic.


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