What about PMS or T - just don't f*@#ing ask!!

OK, so I haven't been around for a bit....sorry!   I've been uber busy organising life, and my little corner of me has suffered.  I've been lax and lazy. How I've missed my space! When stuff gets tough I tend to batten down the hatches and do a disappearing act.  I'm constantly berated for my lack of visibility (by my family), but it's the way I do it.

I'm lucky, though.
I don't suffer from depression.
I don't suffer from that overwhelming sense of despair, and I don't have the feeling  of continual impending doom. 
I suffer from anger.I suffer from irritation. And I suffer from compassion fatigue...and for a short time every month I become irrational. I cry. I'm angry and I blame the world, BH and the kids. A simple question or request becomes the most arduous of tasks.  I moan and groan about it and everyone wonders...for a short time...whether I'm completely bonkers. In short, I suffer from PMS or PMT or what ever the fcuk it's called.........so do not bother even looking at me!

I've spoken with a few mums at the school gate and I know I'm not alone. Marion says she cries at EastEnders if a child falls over. She feels their pain as if they were one of her own.  She then weeps and wails for the world....and she doesn't even like EastEnders.

Jude has told me it has impacted on her working life.  Jude is a professional woman. She works hard and she loves the hustle of the business world. Yet, for a short period each month she closes her office door as she knows there are times, she'll regret stepping outside of her office.  Others have been on the receiving end of her wrath and she has felt the fallout from her PMS.

She's been taken off a project as her outbursts over misunderstandings placed stress on everyone, not just on her team, but others working in tandem with the same goal in mind.   Business aside, she realised that irritations that would normally be a little bit irksome are blown into insurmountable obstacles and Jude can't take it! She shouts and she screams.  Everyone is inept, and no one can do the job well enough.  Outside those five days Jude runs the show. "I don't know what happens" she said, "I know there's no reason for my anger and those little irritations become unacceptable errors. My judgement seems to be impaired when dealing with others.  If anyone asks if it's the time of the month...I literally eat them!"

 According to the NHS website:

"The exact cause of PMS is not fully understood. However, it is thought to be linked to the changing levels of hormones in the body during a woman's menstrual cycle.  Certain lifestyle factors such as lack of exercise, stress and eating a poor diet are also thought to aggravate the symptoms of PMS." (For more information:  PMS).  The site suggested medication and/or counselling! WTF?  If anyone suggested to me that I needed counselling they wouldn't see into next week.  I'd take the drugs by the van load if it meant that I'd be able to fit into skinnies! I get so bloated that it's the black "fat dress" for me, and forget about exercise - I can barely get into the car when PMT kicks in.

Simon, a friend of BH coaches rugby.  He's a big bear of a man who takes no prisoners. He commands respect from his squad, and is hard on those who fail to deliver. He also has a wife who suffers from PMT. Over a beer, a couple of weeks ago, he spoke with BH about her. He was at the end of his tether.  She's a nice woman, who to all intents appears calm and in control. For a week each month she loses it completely.  She hits him. She bites and scratches him. She has also spat in his face. When it's over, she's contrite and ashamed, yet she's completely unable to stop herself when it happens.  BH asked why he didn't leave her.  Simon replied that he loved her. He said "She's reluctant to visit the Dr, as she feels it's normal, but I know it isn't. I'm not sure how much I can take!"

Extreme cases I know, and I'm thankful I only just get mildly irritated. The impact of my bad behaviour has me running to my office.  It's far easier to thump out a few paragraphs of anger directed at the world (woe is me an' all that!) than to throw vile words and looks at the object of my rage.  After a few hours, the anger has subsided and I can get on with cooking the supper without wanting to chuck a vial of belladonna into the mix! 

So, just how do you deal with your PMT?  

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