Friday, 21 June 2013

Weird searches and rogue aupairs!

I check my stats and searches occasionally, just to see where they come from and to see how peeps end up here.

Unfortunately, for the  few that probably end up here, probably turn off in disgust when they realise that this isn't a site for "sexy au-pairs" or "dustmen xxx porn" .  I mean...really?  Dustmen porn?  Where do they get the idea that dustmen even have a porn site? I've had searches for school gate porn, mummy porn, garden porn, nude au pairs... funnily enough au pair porn comes out tops!  All you guys out there really do get your rocks off on our au pairs don't you? It happens quite a lot and it makes me wonder what goes through peoples mind when searching for that particular content?

Which reminds me of something that someone spoke to me about the other day.  We were all standing around at the school gate gossiping and someone asked how I found my aupair...in how I found her generally. Miriam has gone (weep, weep) but in her place we have Silvia.  Silvia is lovely and after all these years of Miriam it's a breath of fresh air.  She loves the kids, the dogs...and me!  She's pretty (we need something nice to look at!) and kind and she's very young.

Anyway, one of the mum's grabbed me as I left with Mimi.  I don't know her too well.  She's generally quiet but sits on the periphery of our group.

"Don't trust her" she whispered.

"Oh, why's that?" I asked thinking she'd seen something I hadn't.  We always like to know what's really going on. 

"I've had the most awful experience and you must promise that you don't tell anyone"

"Sure"  

I do keep a confidence when it's told to me in secret however I don't feel that the blog is breaking that confidence.

"I  went out with some friends the other night and came home the other night earlier than expected. Ian was supposed to be working late and I had left the children with the Minka, the au pair.  Ian was sitting on the sofa covered in a blanket.  I thought he'd come home early as he was ill.  I went into the kitchen and there was Minka draped in my silk dressing gown filling two glasses with wine. I couldn't workout why she was in my dressing gown.  I went back into the living room where Ian was frantically trying to throw some clothes on.  I hadn't realsied he didn't have any on.  I started to scream and shout and told her to leave.  "You leave!" she said.  I couldn't understand it.  It's been a nightmare! " 

And there was me thinking everything was peachy! She looked fine and I had no idea she was in meltdown.

Anyway as far as I can make out her husband has been having an affair with the au pair. He says he loves her and that "wifey" should leave as the kids love Minka! 

What????

She hasn't left. Neither has he or the au pair.  What a mess! So I best get prepared incase Silvia has designs on BH.  On second thoughts she can have him.  I'm fed up with picking up his pants and smiling tolerantly while he thinks it's ok to fart when sweet talking me!  I've had enough already! Do you know how hard it is to get an au pair?

Anyway, if you're here looking for porn the nearest you're going to get is a blog about me going off to the pawn shop hocking the silverware when BH decides to trade me in for a younger prettier model...he can only but try!


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