Do as I say not as I if!

I wish the kids would listen to me....I've been a role model, albeit not a very good one. I don't drink or smoke in front of them.  I try not to swear or use foul language in front of them (which has proven a tad difficult when driving and they're my passengers when I come across a numpty who insists on driving well below the speed limit or who cuts me up with gay abandon!)

I used to explain why they couldn't do something and explain in detail the reasoning behind my "no" request...and a request it was.  Now I just say "...because I said so!".   I can no longer be bothered to get into a debate especially as they began to argue back and I seem to lose my bargaining power.  Did I teach them that?  They've become very good at coming across with valid arguments to support their "wants" and are very persuasive these days.  How did that happen?

I think it might have something to do with the Debating Team at school. Bart has taught his younger siblings that an alternative point of view supporting an argument always has merit and is always valid. Which is great.  Sometimes.

When I wanted them to do something like put away their toys, have a bath, or do their homework I would decry it as the law!

"Why do I have to go to bed now?"

"It's the law."

"Why do I have to hold your hand when I cross the road?"

"It's the law."

You know, that kind of thing. Now they know differently.

Bart will shrug my hand off his shoulder when crossing the road. Mimi looks daggers and swerves the out stretched hand which now just grabs her school blazer. Finn raises his eyebrows as I hold the bottom of his hoody! All to cross the road. Don't they realise I need to keep them safe?

Although the debates rile me and the homestead had become noisy and fractious at times, I kinda like it. I loved that my children have the sense to respond to my requests in vigorous defence, even though there would be tears, the power that they held in their words often made me see that things were changing. The power lines were moving and shifting away from 'mummy's law' and I could see it all going down the pan!

Now, the sprogs are older, the control has shifted completely. They no longer defer to my superior knowledge and wit, but respond with disdain and very often completely ignore my requests. The boys have become young adults and are desperate to become independent. No matter that I continue to point out the dangers to their plans, their ideas, mummy's law no longer holds sway. All I can do is plead and beg that they listen.  I know they don't. They'll do exactly as they please. It's a scary and exhausting time, especially as they boys are so close in age, so now it comes with double the worry.

We live in a sleepy village and I was hoping (nay...praying) that our proximity to 'all that is evil with the world for our youths' would ensure that they'd remain encircled by love, fields and the local park. Their school is a good 45 minutes from the homestead so consequently their peer group is in that area .  So...every weekend they're back to the area they go to school. They no longer hook up with their primary school friends (as they're 'lame') but chose to meet up with other young adults that I have no knowledge of! I obviously hadn't thought it through when chosing their school!

My mistake is not home schooling!


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