Mummy at the School Gate

Christmas is fast approaching and I haven't done a thing!!  It always creeps up on me like this and I have a feeling that I'll be running around on the 24th buying all sorts of expensive crap, because I've been too lazy to put my thinking cap on!! I've just spent the past two hours on line (which reminds me...must check whether warhammer do online purchases otherwise it's a two hour queue to get into the car park!) trying to glean some kind of idea of what to get who.  It would be far easier if we we didn't have to waste all of our hard earned cash on a single day.  It takes up the whole month...for what?  For a day of overindulgence on all levels.  BB's girlfriend (lovely though she is) has just come up with a plan to make something for each other...which is a lovely idea...but I just don't have the effing time!!!  I've got mince pies to make; I've got the tree to decorate (I can't let anyone else do it as I'm a control freak!); I'

A loss is always sad, and I think I've taken a bashing this time. When something hits you hard, nothing else is important. In this case my little bit of me (here, of course), has suffered neglect. I didn't feel like making witty..in fact I wondered whether I ever did.  How did I become so serious?  But I'm back...I've seen the light! My month away was productive though.  I haven't just been sitting around twiddling my fingers! We've been very busy. We've been clearing up the garden and painting the house.  Not only has it taken us months, but it's made me realise that all this cleaning and painting is such a waste of time.  I really must get myself together and make Miriam do something for her keep.  Peewee has had his doodahs cut off which has now made me wonder whether I should have done so as he would have had beautiful babies. Pee Wee in his buster collar...seriously comfortable! For the first time this year, I decided that I should vi

Last night I heard that someone had passed away. It was someone I didn't know, but it was someone I knew well. I'd meet up with her most nights. We'd shoot the breeze, she'd make me laugh. We thought we had all the time in the world. She'd fight with me to get the first round in. We'd never had that first round. I promised I'd buy us lunch. We thought it would be inevitable that we'd meet.  I'd laughed and said that she would probably hate me on sight. She said she probably would. We'd argue and spar, but we'd always leave each other on a witty note. I never took offence. She never took offence. We found the ridiculous funny, and we'd find compassion in tragedy. Her insults were a joy. My insults couldn't match hers. Her kindness and sensitivity when help was needed. She knew when to draw the line in the sand. She was unafraid and brave. She was a friend because she understood, never judged and was always there. She reached out

Miriam, is slovenly and messy.  Her room is a pigsty, and she leaves a trail of cups and plates around the house.  No matter how many times I ask her to put them in the dishwasher she seems to think that they all disappear because the fairies spirit them away...well...I'm that fairy! I put up with it as I like her.  I've had au pairs since the boys were about 5.  I thought that would be a good age as they could tell me if the au pair was mean to them, locked them in cupboards or burnt them with fag ends. In the early days we had one called Ildi.  Ildi was older than the average au-pair (she was 28), and I found her on the the net.  She looked presentable and spoke very good English...and she had eyes that reminded me of my ma's dog.  Probably not a good reason to pick an au pair, but Oliver (the dog) was kind and sweet  so I thought perhaps she would be too. She worked for a family nearby and was leaving for "reason unknown".  I'd never thought to question t

I'd never had Chubba down as a killer..he's too soft and floppy for one, but this morning the Finn and Bart came running in from the garden screaming. "Muummmmm"  Well, that's the usual cry, but this was wasn't the cry of "Mum, I've hurt myself" or "Mum, he's being nasty to me" or "I'm telling Mum" or "Mum, I'm just crying for the sake of it", this was a blood curdling scream of "Mum...I've seen something really bad and I don't want this stuck in my memory forever and tonight I'm going to have nightmares" type of scream.  The one where you know that whilst you want to run away yourself, as you're Mum, you have to deal with it.... head on. "What?" What?" What?" I shouted - I tend to shout when I'm freaking. They weren't actually saying anything as the rushed into the kitchen but grabbing at my clothes, and burying their heads in my legs. Miriam wa

Just an observation really.  Since starting this blog, I've come to learn a lot about myself and my family. I'm often reflective and observing, but I've actually started to notice my bad points of which I thought there were none, pre blogging. I've always asked BH what he didn't like about me and he could come up with nothing...well nothing that is of value.  Where as I'd thought I was always perfect (oh yes I am!), I'm clearly lacking in some a lot of areas.  I'm now beginning to realise that he is less than truthful if only for an easy life...and as I've blundered through life I really should thank him. BH always points out my good points (you have lovely ears, you are a nice person, you are kind), and while that's lovely of him, it's not been terrifically helpful.  Recently, the kids have been telling me things about myself.  Kids are honest, kids are truthful, kids are cruel kids are mean....husbands are not! I suppose that's why I