Tuesday, 24 May 2011

I want a Pashley Princess....now!

I need a new bike, and I want a Pashley Princess.  I'm fed up with the great weights of mountain bikes, and bikes where I have to lean so far forward I'm practically laying face down.  I don't want 25 gears or an aluminium frame so light I could carry it across the lake.  I want to ride on something sedate and be fitting of someone of my age. I want to get on a bike in a dress, with the wind in my hair and a basket to put my flowers in after I've plucked them from the hedgerow.  I want to pedal effortlessly through the maze of the woods, and I don't want mud up the back of my calves.

Pashley Princess-image kindly supplied by Pashley.

Then I came down to earth with a bump!!  Have you seen the prices of those beauties?  I could buy 10 pairs of good shoes for the kids, or  a holiday (for me solo!) at a health farm!  I could pay off my credit card bill in one foul swoop, or I could buy at least 3 pairs of vertiginous heels from coveted designers...ones I can only sit down in though as the last pair I bought saw me up end into a flower pot...dignity on the floor and heels replaced with flip flops!

I once had a bright idea.  I often have bright ideas, but this was probably one of the best. One day I decided that I would take the dog for a run.  I thought it might be a good idea to take the dog with me. I also thought it might be a good idea if I took him on the bike. Well....him running beside me. I now know that dogs don't run in straight lines, and that if they see a cat that they'll run after them.  It would have been a good idea if I hadn't had him on a lead, but as we were riding/running along a main road I thought the lead would be another bright idea. Dog saw cat....and pulled me off the bike.  It wasn't his fault.  He doesn't like cats. He like to chase them. And chase it, he did.  Once again, dignity and bottom were on the floor, so I now don't ride and run the dog.  Now if I had a Pashley Princess, I could ride my bike and buy one of those little things you pull along behind you...the ones crazy people put their children in and cycle on the main roads with all manner of traffic. Personally, I wouldn't put a child in it, but I would put in the dog...if I could make him "stay"!!

When Bart was a baby, I was very fit. I would cycle everywhere and would pop him in the seat on the back of the bike and off we would go. We'd cycle down country lanes, across fields and he would love it.  I'd ring my bell, and I could hear Bart laughing behind me. We'd greet fellow cyclists with a cheery hello and Bart would wave and gurgle.  When Bart was about 18 months, my sis bought a Pashley and I was so jealous.  She wanted to join us on one of our outings so I made her cycled behind us for a while. I couldn't bear to see the object of my desire under someone else!!   As I rang my bell, Bart would gurgle and laugh; as fellow cyclists waved Bart would greet them, but I could hear sis sniggering each time someone passed by. Eventually, I stopped fearing that my bottom was the object of her derision.

"Whats so funny?"

"Bart!" She was doubled over her posh Pashley's handle bars at this point. Her mascara creeping unbecomingly down the side of her face.

"Why?" He looked his normal happy self, still gurgling away.

"Every time someone passes by...he sticks two fingers in the air...on both hands!! What on earth have you been teaching him?"

My beautiful curly headed blond angel had been flicking the "V" at each passer by.

There is a lady around here who rides an old Pashley.  She looks slightly nutty amongst the  Lycra clad cyclists who use the lanes to race, but she looks like my kind of nutty, as she pedals with ease without breaking a sweat.  I want one even though I can't afford one, but that's how I roll!!

Monday, 9 May 2011

Self praise is no praise...

My mum has always popped out wise sayings at appropriate moments and when I was younger, I couldn't understand what she was going on about.  It's only now that I have kids myself, I find myself repeating the same phrases that she did and actually understanding the meaning behind them.  

My kids have no idea what I'm going on about as they take each sentence as something which is said by their mother when she's trying to offer advice. They have to question me a million times about what I actually mean.  Very often Bart will say "Why don't you just say what you mean?  It really is annoying when you don't get to the point!"

Mimi will look at me blankly then just carry on with what she's doing.  She has no idea what I've just said, but doesn't question it.  She knows it means something, but isn't really bothered about it. I can see it in her eyes. I can read her like a book.  "Ma, I have no idea what you're saying....and really I don't care!"

"Self-praise is no praise"
"A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush"
"A stitch in time saves nine"
"Measure a thousand times, cut once"
"Grin and bear it"

Ma, now she's getting older is becoming more and more like my grandma.  Her "wise sayings" have now taken on the voice of my grandmother.  I can hear what my gran used to say in what my mum is saying now....and I find myself repeating them.

Even BH repeats some phrases from his childhood....but doesn't actually know what they mean but knew that he would have to run like the clappers if his ma bellowed them in his direction. Some of the sayings make no sense at all, and I've heard her say them in conversation. Things like:

 "that's the tune the old cow died of"
"He's fit to mind mice at  the crossroads"
"She'd talk the teeth out of a saw!"
 "Those who get the name of rising early may lie all day"

If it makes no sense to you, it may help to know that she's Irish...I had trouble understanding her when I first met her...now I have no idea what she's trying to say!!

My ma now says things like "I like it but it doesn't like me" when talking about what she wants to eat but upsets her...somehow! 

My gran used to trot out some absolutely disgusting sayings, things I couldn't even repeat here.  Things in response to  "What's for dinner, Nan?"...well.... I'll leave that to your imagination!


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