January is bleak at the best of times…only now it’s bleaker than I ever thought possible. I wonder how I’m going to get through this awful, horrific time. I know I will, but I don’t want to. Words aren’t enough to express my thoughts. I veer between black humour and absolute fear. My beautiful husband passed away on Jan 1st. We’d never been a fan of New Years, and now he’s really made sure I’ll never celebrate another! It’s not how I thought I’d react. People have been so kind, want to spend time with me yet I just want them to leave me alone. “Do you have people to support you” is something that’s now often asked. I have loads, yet I don’t want anyone else near me. I know when my mum lost Dad, she needed to be surrounded with everyone. I don’t want anyone. Mostly everyone gets on my nerves and I think I’m only trying to make them feel better. I’m fine. I’m ok. I’m good. I’m not. I told him, I’d kill myself. I’d lay down and never get up. He wouldn’t know what to say. It’s not tha
Mummy at the School Gate
A glimpse into the life of me and mine...oh, and I sometimes have a "potty mouth"!