Moving forward

After a tense couple of weeks (which I'll be honest-had me weeping buckets), we've come to an impasse with the Finn saga.  That's not to say it's an uncomfortable deadlock, and I have hopes that the bullying will come to a complete end and it won't affect Finn or his future in the way it has.  I think and hope it was something that happened last year, but now I'm aware, I can build my son up to be able to tackle it head on and give him back the confidence he's lost.

Funnily enough, no one appears to have seen or heard any thing that may have contributed to the incidents, but I guess that's the way with insidious bullying...and because Finn put on a brave face and didn't complain no one really noticed. His new teacher is understanding (and she is fresh out of uni!) and is "up" on the ways to tackle incidents; pinpointing and recognising issues and dealing with issues without laying blame. I'm hoping subtlety will work so in the meantime BB (fantabulous rugby fiend and all round super athlete) is collecting him from school with a rugby ball tucked under his arm. They spend 15 minutes chucking the odd shaped ball around they playing field.  In the past couple of days a few more boys have joined in with this new regime (possibly because of the world cup) and Finn has shown a talent for making conversions. Apparently his kicks are high and straight. Move over Jonny!!  BB has said that Finn is better at it than he thinks he is; he may be small, but he's fast and a little bit furious.

It's still early days, and I'm hoping that it will become easier. Finn has a diary in which he writes down everything that was said or done.  I don't allow him to dwell on it. I found some terrific advice from Kidpower and it has helped give him some confidence. One thing I noticed was that Finn is unaware of what is going on around him.  He walks in his own world. I'm not sure whether this is as a result from the bullying and self preservation or whether he really does walk to his own beat. His teacher is helping and has called out the culprit a few times not specifically when he's targeting Finn. Finn knows that one day, he'll be bigger than the bully (BH is bigger than his dad so he's got to be!) and that one day they'll be shaking hands over a beer..but they've got a few years to go before this will happen.

I'm glad Finn didn't want me to smash their faces in.....I wouldn't have done, but it's made me realise that sometimes life isn't fair or just and something needs to be done about it. Fighting back with a degree of compassion and understanding is better than using your fists. My boy may not understand it all just yet, but when he does he will become a better man.

Comments

  1. Glad to hear you are getting there with this, can't have been easy. Emma :)

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  2. I am glad that things are looking up. Rugby (or any sport) is a great way to regain your self confidence.
    All the best.

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  3. Very, very, pleased to read that Finn is making positive steps forwards. Well done you and well done Finn:))

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  4. Do you know, it's completely knocked the stuffing out of me. We're still having issues, but I think now Finn knows that I'm on the case(and on his side) and so is his teacher, he feels "protected". I'm still not clear why this has happened, but his cousin is helping him find common ground with his peers (rugby), so he feels more part of a group. He thought he was terrible at sports and it seems that he's not! Thank you for letting me vent and rant. xx

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