Mummy at the School Gate

I'm not normally a Daily Wail reader, but that's all they had at the corner shop this afternoon, apart from the Racing Post!  I needed some tangible contact with the outside world, as I've watched so much TV I'm beginning to feel  like the Old woman who lives in a shoe!  BH was not impressed on my return and asked me why I bothered buying it, I could look on the Internet if I needed to read something, but I like to hold something in my hands. Anyway, as I flicked through the paper I came across an article which pulled me up rather sharply. "Why did my best friend dump me?".

All that work for just one day!  I'm absolutely cream crackered and know that two weeks away somewhere nice with a couple of good books, (on my own ) would be just the tonic I need to be able to get back to some semblance of normality....but that ain't about to happen!  Apart from not getting to sleep until 4 am and being woken by Mimi at 4.15 am asking if it was "morning yet?", I felt quite on top of everything, when I woke yesterday morning.  The Christmas preparation list all ticked off, the kids presents all ready to be dumped in their rooms, the stockings filled, the crackers made (I impress myself on occasions!), the napkins folded, and the seating arrangements organised.   Ma was cooking the Turkey and sis was making the deserts so all that was left to me was arranging the table, cook the vegetables and make sure that there was enough wine and champagne to take away the pain of it all.

It seems that we are falling like skittles. First, my sister called me. "Are you sure it's OK that we come over to you on Christmas day?...I feel so rough at the moment I'm not sure I'm going to be able to do any shopping." "'Course it is!" I replied. Well of course it is...I've invited the whole family as we all seem to be in one place at the same time for the first time in about 5 years.  So there's Ma and Pa, BH's ma and pa all the way from the Emerald Isles (mainly to annoy me I think!), little bro' flies in from Germany, big sis and her husband, Ben and his girlfriend, and Sis's mother-in-law.  It is likely that we'll have Jude and her brood dropping in, and Stella and hers too so that we can play twister...oh joys! Not!  Particularly as Jude insists on bringing eggnog which I believe has been sitting in her fridge since 1984 and is oh...so disgusting!

This morning I was preparing the shopping list for the last foray into town (in the hope that the shelves haven't been cleared) when Mimi peered over my shoulder. "What's that?" she asked. "The food list for Christmas." BH laughed scathingly. "When have you ever gone out with a shopping list?  You normally walk around the store chucking random items in your trolley in the hope they'll be enough for a weeks worth of dinners.  Have you ever used those Black Beluga Lentils?  Or that tin of artichokes that's been nestling behind the anchovies?"

I found this poem in my son's english book, this morning.  I thought I'd share it here because I think it's funny.  I'm not sure that's what kids normally write about their mums (this poem is totally not true!) and I'm sure his teacher has a very bad impression of me now!! My Mum My mum is very ugly She has big warts on her nose She shouts when it's time for bed She always wears the same clothes My mum is very funny She smiles when she is sad She shouts when it's time for dinner Her breath smells really bad My mum is really rude sometimes She says bad words that are naughty She shouts when we are playing Because she thinks we are very noisy My mum is kind to everyone She likes to cook them dinner She shouts at them on the telephone But I think my mums the winner.

'Tis the season to be jolly....and all that, but apart from the kids there's not much cheer around!  I've been stuck in doors with the kids and dogs for the past few days along with a moaning Au-pair who just wants to go home to Slovakia for Christmas but like the thousands of others is stranded. She, however, is stranded in relative comfort unlike those camping out at Heathrow!  But she likes to remind me that she is here under sufferance and would never in a million years choose to remain here with my "dysfunctional family" adding "Zere is somesing not right about you all".  Which means that she now has to spend Christmas with us, as it will be unlikely that she will be able to get home...unfortunately! "But I vont to go home" "I know...but you can't" "But if I have to stay stuck in here with you...I sink I vill go crazy"

I'm sitting in my office (as usual) l ooking out of the window, and it looks like the world has stopped.  Saturday morning and one week before Chrsitmas and the roads are as dead as a dodo!  The postman has just knocked at the door with a parcel so it seems that some services are well worth the money!  I certainly didn't expect anyone to rock up to my door today.  The road outside is unusually quite ( apart from the fact that the road hasn't been gritted) and the few cars that pass by are driving incredibly carefully, although there are the odd one or two which whizz by...guess they have snow chains as is their confidence. The kids and the dogs are playing madly (particularly the dogs) in the garden building igloo's and snowmen!  At the moment we have around four snowmen of varying sizes, we did have six but Peewee decided to urinate on one causing it to collapse and Mimi kicked the other one to death!! Mimi is now sitting in the kitchen moaning that she can no longe