Tuesday, 21 December 2010

Stuck in the UK...my au-pair wants to go home!

'Tis the season to be jolly....and all that, but apart from the kids there's not much cheer around!  I've been stuck in doors with the kids and dogs for the past few days along with a moaning Au-pair who just wants to go home to Slovakia for Christmas but like the thousands of others is stranded. She, however, is stranded in relative comfort unlike those camping out at Heathrow!  But she likes to remind me that she is here under sufferance and would never in a million years choose to remain here with my "dysfunctional family" adding "Zere is somesing not right about you all".  Which means that she now has to spend Christmas with us, as it will be unlikely that she will be able to get home...unfortunately!

"But I vont to go home"
"I know...but you can't"
"But if I have to stay stuck in here with you...I sink I vill go crazy"

Oh thanks a lot for that. I know I'm not great company most of the time, but I thought we'd at least reached an understanding that when I shout (not that it's very often) she goads me into shouting more....with me in the hope that they all scatter and stay out of my way for at least 10 minutes until they forgot that I was angry. It's a bit of an act to be honest, but at least then Miriam takes pity on the kids and does something constructive with them like grinding (she calls it dancing!!) to MTV or having a pampering session (the boys too...they love it!).

It now appears that we have another one for Christmas, and I'm going to have to brave the snow to find her that perfect gift! Blast! I was hoping to visit the sales and get her something on the cheap! 

Miriam is one of the few au-pairs that I have been able speak my mind without her getting upset or taking it personally. She also speaks her mind to which I never think of a snappy retort!

"This house is a bloody mess"
"Well, you tell your bloody kids zat!"

"I wish someone would empty the dishwasher once in a while!"
"You should get a cleaner! It would make ze life so much easier for us, it may even stop you moaning!"

"Who left their shoes here?  I nearly broke my neck." Knowing full well they were Miriams.
"Bloody kids. I telll zem all time to put shoes away, all time!"

"Who drank all the bloody vodka?"
"Your bloody kids...zey vanted making cocktails for me.  I told zem no but zey insisted!"

"Could someone empty the bin please?  I'm fed up of trying to stuff more rubbish in an already full bin!"
"Mans job...you haff very lazy huzband!"

A couple of months ago I heard screaming and laughing coming from the kitchen.  I raced downstairs only to find Miriam clutching a pillow surrounded by a circle of knives embedded into the kitchen floor (it's wooden so the knives had a firm grip).  Standing on the table was Finn with a kitchen knife in his hand, poised in the air!

"What the F#*k is going on?" I said (well I actually screamed it).

"Finn, he decided he vanted to be knife thrower when he grows up...he said he's done it before! I sink he vas trying to kill me!"
On questioning Finn further it transpired that she had told him that her grandfather was a knife thrower in the circus and that she would train him in the art!!!

She does make me laugh though, and we often sit at the table (well she does, I'm usually running around cooking dinner, emptying the dishwasher, doing the washing like all good mums!), shooting the breeze.  She talks of her love life, her life at home in Slovakia and the difficulties that they face and I know how difficult it is for her here.  She is very bright, funny and sweet...sometimes.  The other times she is moody, difficult and tired!

But I know she was looking forward to going home ( I was kinda of hoping she wouldn't come back!), and I will do all I can to make sure her Christmas is one she won't forget.  Somehow though, I don't think we'll be easily erased from her memory...but for all the right reasons......I hope!!

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