This morning I was preparing the shopping list for the last foray into town (in the hope that the shelves haven't been cleared) when Mimi peered over my shoulder.
"What's that?" she asked.
"The food list for Christmas."
BH laughed scathingly.
"When have you ever gone out with a shopping list? You normally walk around the store chucking random items in your trolley in the hope they'll be enough for a weeks worth of dinners. Have you ever used those Black Beluga Lentils? Or that tin of artichokes that's been nestling behind the anchovies?"
Oh, I do hate him at times. When he goes out for the shopping those very rare times when I haven't been able, he returns with half a ton of sweets, icecream and cakes...enough to rot the teeth of a small country and never enough of anything that would constitute a balanced meal. Only yesterday, when I visited the veg man at the local garden centre (I like to support the individual trader, this one's hard working and has his own family to support), he kept saying things like "We don't need that" or "How many are you getting??" or "Will the kids really eat all that fruit". I wish I'd left him at home.
Ignoring him, I turned to Mimi "Is there anything in particular you want ?"
"Spaghetti hoops" came her reply
"No Mi, we're having turkey and sprouts, and parsnips and stuffing..."
"But that's disgusting! I want spaghetti hoops!" she wailed "You just asked me what I wanted...and I want spaghetti hoops! It's not fair..it's my day..I'm not eating sprouts!"
She stomped out of the kitchen and returned with Finn.
"But Mum, Christmas is for children. The law says we can have what we want."
I sensed anarchy in the offing. Bart was lingering in the doorway was with the smirk of a child that knows far more than he's letting on.
"Yes, he's right you know. Oliver Cromwell banned mince pies, christmas pudding and anything to do with gluttony. The law has never been changed. That shopping list is pure gluttony...I'd like egg and chips for christmas dinner, please!"
"And if you don't give me spaghetti hoops, I'm phoning the police because it's against the law!" said Mimi
"Oh and while you're at it" said BH "Can you put me down for beans on toast...I'm thinking christmas dinner is a little over the top these days!"
Little have they realised, it's my shopping list and I'll get what I want!