Friday, 18 March 2011

Anger got the better of me today......

I think I've been bullied...well not exactly bullied but chastised for not doing something the wasn't in my remit!  How did I handle it?  Badly I think. 

Initially, when he approached me, I apologised for not doing that thing I wasn't supposed to do. I apologised and remained calm and took responsibility for the error/oversight. But he kept on going!  

Tell me once, and it goes in, but tell me a second, third and fourth time it becomes a little bit irritating. I'm not three! Sometimes I'm an adult.  It really was no biggie.  However, it was for him.  

I think it may have been his passive/aggressive stance on the matter that raised the hackles. Stern faced, enunciated, clipped words, I declared,  "I will repeat myself, yet again...I apologise!" and with a toss of the hair I flounced off in the direction of the loo's where I had a weep at the anger mounting in me!  At that point I really wished I was a ninja!

"Breath in, breath out, he's a twat, breath in, nasty little twunt, breath out, breath in, get a grip, breath out."

 I don't do confrontation...it's not in my job description.  I do calming, I do stroking and I do loving!

I'm more annoyed with my reaction after the event, the fact that I couldn't sleep, the fact that I took it personally, and the fact that I have to do anger at all!

I don't take kindly to being chastised/bullied especially when it wasn't my fault.

I now know how the kids feel when they wail,

"It wasn't me!"

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