Talking and Clarity.

It's been a busy week for us all in the household, and I haven't even had the time to sit, write or think.  But it's not all about me. I'm not here for just me...that's just selfish.  I'm here to make the transition through life smoother for those that matter in my life.  I didn't know that before, but I understand that now.

I used to fight against it, and I used to resent it. But now I just go with the flow.  If you need me, I'm here.  I may have to take some time off now and again, to shut down the brain and recharge the batteries but I'll always be here for you. I'm not doing it because it makes me feel good, I have to do it because that's my role. I've spent many years trying to buck that role and denying it, but that is my purpose.  If I look back over my life then I can see where this is all been heading. 

People don't come to me for advice (that would be too crazy, I'd definitely send them in the wrong direction), they come to me to talk.  To offload. Too gain clarity. I used to suck it all in, live it and it would drain me beyond belief.  Now, I understand that it's just words and I can listen without having to put it all right for them.
The niggles, that the kids come home with.  The friend that's been mean.  The teacher that's shouted. The homework that hasn't been completed. It's all forgotten with a few words. The next day is a clean slate. Ma often has a bee in her bonnet about someone or something.  I know and understand that it is for that particular moment. Tomorrow she will feel differently about it.  It doesn't matter that the words are hateful, but once spoken the feelings are gone.

Everyone needs someone to talk to. Once the words are spoken, the burden is lifted. The old saying "A problem shared is a problem halved"?  Never a truer word spoken. My confidant is my diary.  I write to unburden, and I write to gain clarity.  Not always well, but from my soul. And it helps.


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