Today is Mufti Day for Comic Relief. The kids all dress up in the "civvies" and off they trot to school each with a £1 in their pocket for the privilege. The only problem is, I could only find 50p...between them. I searched down the back of the sofas, the bottom of my handbag, coat pockets for the elusive £2.50 but would you know it? Not a sausage. Thankfully, Mimi had a fiver from her granny and very kindly offered it, as long as I paid her back with exactly the same fiver. She's even written down it's serial number! So clearly I'm expected to say to Mr Shopkeeper, "Here is £5 for this piece of rubbish that I'm only buying so that I can have the change....and could you please hold on to it, as I will return with a replacement because I need that one back?"
But that was not the only problem. Since it was Mufti Day and the kids get to choose what they want to wear, why on earth is Finn dressed up in a Pirate costume, brandishing a machine gun? We had a bit of a conversation whereby Finn told me that this particular pirate is a policeman hence the machine gun. Since when did our policemen use guns? It's no use explaining to him...it's all falling on deaf ears. Bart however, looks like he's just danced straight out of "Step up 1", with his jeans tucked neatly under his buttocks, trainers with their laces removed, his ski jacket neatly topped off with my Alexander McQueen scarf...because it has skulls on it! He looks like a mini Michelin man! I wish I could say Mimi looks relatively normal, but she doesn't. She's almost colour coordinated but she's wearing a pink tutu (with a smattering of baked beans), a tiara, lime green tights and a pair of wellingtons! She's either backcombed her hair this morning, or hasn't brushed it...and she won't let me touch it!! It's very clear i have no influence over their choices since they ignored the lovely (clean) clothes I laid out for them.
Pulling up at the school, I could see that most of the kids were dressed in their "Sunday Best". Most of them looked wholesome, healthy, normal....and clean! I could see some of the mothers sniggering into their twin sets, knowing that I'd got it wrong...again!
I wanted to call out to them
"No, YOU'VE got it all wrong...It's about expressing your individuality!"
but I didn't, because it's clear I have no control over them what so ever.
Marion (school gate mum/frienemy), sidled over,
"So...what have you come as?"
I'm all for charity, but when it looks like we're the family that needs it I'm not so sure!