It's 23.54 on New Years Eve. The fireworks are already filling the air with thuds and bangs, and I'm imagining everyone dancing and singing in the new year. My babies are all in bed, BH is flying through the night from a far flung destination, the dogs are fighting at my feet, Peewee keeps nipping me (by accident, I hope) and I am sitting here, alone, reflecting on the past year.
It's probably far from unusual for many people, but its something I've never done before. New Year was always a bit of an anti-climax. People trying to make merry, forced gaiety, dancing madly and trying to snog anyone they can lay their hands on. It's the one night I've always felt uncomfortable with. Men making a beeline and me ducking to avoid their well aimed kisses. Usually at midnight, I try to lock myself in the toilet (accidentally) missing the very sad and depressing "Auld Lang Syne". It's not to say I haven't experienced rough times, I have, but 2010 has been a bit relentless. I've always believed that those who wish the year to end are wishing their lives away but I can see that it's the symbolism of new beginnings which is important.
Tonight, I've had a million texts from new friends and old friends, the friends who have been with me throughout my journey, wishing us all hopes for a better year to come. In many ways I'm glad to have experienced 2010 the way I have. The many people I have met, supported, who have supported me, kept me sane, and made me laugh and have faith when it was nigh on impossible to believe in a future. The year is not mine alone, and the story is not just mine to tell. just yet. But one day, I will. I've made new beginnings.....and today is that new beginning.
Peace, Love and Happiness.....