Mummy at the School Gate

My au pair Miriam , is a beautiful sultry girl from the Slovak Republic or Slovakia as it is most commonly known. Most of the girls that have lived with us either come from Slovakia or the Czech Republic.  I've chosen them in particular because they have the "family values" that I want for my family.  I know that I can't tar everyone with the same brush, it's just that it has worked for me. However...Miriam is the exception to the rule.  Miriam is sensual; Miriam languishes; she loves burning candles and incense sticks. She loves long, bubbly baths with big fluffy towels.  Miriam walks the dogs in stilettos (how?), and loves my red lipstick (on her!) Miriam loves MTV.  Miriam loves raiding my wardrobe, and Miriam loves men...all men! As was usual for a Sunday early evening we had all settled down to watch a movie. Mimi was in bed and the boys were snuggled up on the sofa with BH.  Ben , (22 and stunning!), was on the other sofa, with his laptop researching with

Yes, I've gone all self sufficient.  Not totally, just slightly. I've dug over part of the veg patch, but then had to sit down as I came over all faint. Peewee had been helping, but he was digging in all of the wrong places. However he did unearth some treasures...beetroots and parsnips from last year!  They were so tiny and deformed that I realised that chucking them all in without thought of spacing was probably a bad move. Ah well, we learn by our mistakes. Peewee is rather keen on gardening. I know this as he has taken a liking to my gardening books. They are in tatters now because he's darn well chewed the lot! So now I'm busy looking through the seed catalogues and I remembered when my Ma used to do the same thing.  She would sit and plan her garden, much like I'm doing now.  She'd allow me to pick the seeds I wanted and I would plant them in my very own patch.  They were never successful, because I never watered them.  She loved roses and the garden, a

I'm so excited!  Lovely Manana Mama has awarded Yuckymum (me!!), the Liebster Blog award...my very first!  So my acceptance speech goes thus.... I'd like to thank my friends and family who have supported me through this process; to the kids for giving up the chance to spend quality time with their moma; to BH who for allowing tins of baked beans to replace lavish feasts; and not forgetting those working behind the scenes.... blah, blah, blah! But now onto the more serious stuff, and the duty of "Paying it forward". The idea of the award is to spread the lurve and  to bring lesser known (or not) but great blogs to light therefore I am pleased to nominate the following favourite blogs of mine as recipients of this award:   A Very British Dude  Radical, verrrry naughty..and they make me laugh..... a lot. The blog is written by two very opinionated libertarians who push the boundaries of acceptable thought!!  I can't honestly see them accepting this award, a

Mama ...and more  . ... tagged me for this particular piece and I will do my best to oblige. I'm not too good at describing myself and hope that this will give you an insight into who I am.  I am.... an idiot, but more than that, I am a stupid idiot.   much more than I was at 20. Searching for my reason for being, brings me to where I am now. I am all I was brought up to be, and no longer afraid of making a mistake or admitting it. I am proud of who I am and fear has no place in my life.  The bravest thing I have ever done ….was to chase after two young men who had broken into my car and stolen the stereo...OK, maybe not brave but stupid, but I did get my stereo back! I feel prettiest..... when I have a brown paper bag over my head. I've always said that BH married me for my earning potential...he doesn't disagree.   Something that keeps me up at night.... is worrying I may have inadvertently offended someone. I say things without thinking...BECAUSE I THINK IT

I'm not perfect.  I wish I was. If I was I'd be like Sookie ( True Blood, anyone? ). I'd be pleasant, sweet and nice.  But I'm not.  Well, sometimes I am. Nice, I mean. People think I'm nice. People say I'm nice.  But deep, deep down I must be a bit mean because I sometime do and say things that no normal person would ever do...because it appeals to my dark sense of humour.  That's not to say I'm not normal. I so am.   I think my children have picked up on this trait and I think they could be developing it themselves. Oh dear. They're in for a rough ride. The other day as I was picking up the kids from school, Mimi and I were having a discussion about whether or not her "bestest friend" could come home that night to play.  They'd decided between themselves and that was pretty much that as far as she was concerned. We'd a million and one things to do, the least not being a pile of reports to write in the hope that I could keep my j

Today is Mufti Day for Comic Relief. The kids all dress up in the "civvies" and off they trot to school each with a £1 in their pocket for the privilege. The only problem is, I could only find 50p...between them.  I searched down the back of the sofas, the bottom of my handbag, coat pockets for the elusive £2.50 but would you know it?  Not a sausage.  Thankfully, Mimi had a fiver from her granny and very kindly offered it, as long as I paid her back with exactly the same fiver.  She's even written down it's serial number! So clearly I'm expected to say to Mr Shopkeeper, "Here is £5 for this piece of rubbish that I'm only buying so that I can have the change....and could you please hold on to it, as I will return with a replacement because I need that one back?" But that was not the only problem.  Since it was Mufti Day and the kids get to choose what they want to wear, why on earth is Finn dressed up in a Pirate costume, brandishing a machine gun? 

It doesn’t take much to render me useless in an emergency.   The sight of blood usually brings me to my knees…I don’t quite faint, but run around the room looking for things that will probably be useless in staunching the flow…like a piece of paper or tape measure.   Having these things to hand probably would be useful in other circumstances but in this particular case could have been seen as surplus to requirements.    I’d often thought I could be a good doctor…but not in the ER..diagnosing ailments from my armchair is about as good as it gets!    In this case BH was doing absolutely nothing to warrant an  attack on himself....he was just lying there….sleeping!!    As was usual at that time of night, I was reading the latest hardback from Jodie Picolt.   BH was deep in slumber, as was also usual for that time of night.   Despite the fact that the TV was blaring , the side lamp was on , he could often sleep through the thousand lorries rolling past our house as was usual for th

It's been a busy week for us all in the household, and I haven't even had the time to sit, write or think.  But it's not all about me. I'm not here for just me...that's just selfish.  I'm here to make the transition through life smoother for those that matter in my life.  I didn't know that before, but I understand that now. I used to fight against it, and I used to resent it. But now I just go with the flow.  If you need me, I'm here.  I may have to take some time off now and again, to shut down the brain and recharge the batteries but I'll always be here for you. I'm not doing it because it makes me feel good, I have to do it because that's my role. I've spent many years trying to buck that role and denying it, but that is my purpose.  If I look back over my life then I can see where this is all been heading.  People don't come to me for advice (that would be too crazy, I'd definitely send them in the wrong direction), they

My mojo has gone and done a runner!  Actually it's my cleaning mojo that has gone. It could be that after a week of  everyone being at home, with the both the kids and the dogs doing mud sprints through the house from the garden that I've given up any pretence of appearing a little bit house proud.  There is a pile of washing to be ironed and a pile of washing to be washed and I really can't be bothered.  I mean, what is the point?  I'm only going to have to do it all again! BH has noticed, and  has commented. I was planning on visiting an old school pal on the Friday. "But it's "Cleaning Day" on Friday!" "Whaddyamean...Cleaning day?"  This phrase has never been mentioned and the very thought of it actually makes me feel a little bit sick. "Well..." he said, his eyes darting wildly (avoiding mine!) and I could see he was having trouble weighing up how to say what he was going to say. "You always clean up on a Frid

Following in the vein of the bloggers I so admire ( thanks to @notesfromhome), I thought I'd add mine into the mix. I'm probably repeating some very wise words (actually, I'm probably not!), and these are some of the things that my kids will probably think are gross now, but when they reach my age will realise that I'm a pretty cool mum. They may not see it, as they have no one else to compare me with just yet! 1. I once gave up my job because it interfered with my social life! OK, so it probably wasn't a good move, but if I hadn't left, I think they may have sacked me so I took a leap of faith and it threw up various opportunities which would never have happened had I not thrown in the towel. My parents never made me do anything I didn't want to do, and told me I could be whoever I wanted to be...and this is what I want for you. Do something you love...it makes life so much easier! 2. I had a ball as a twenteen. I did because I had no ties. I tra